Move things around without getting off the couch

Telekinesis

Just like it says. No frills necessary.

Flight

Magnitude not guaranteed, but at least enough for a compact car

Learn to think like an evil genius about the most creative ways to get the most out of your superpowers.

Phenomenal power ... but only when it's funny

No thrill like taking away another sentient being's free will

Exclusively move crunchy cookie snacks with your mind